Is It Bad Luck to Keep Ashes in the House?

The question of whether it is bad luck to keep a loved one’s ashes in the house, or keeping cremated remains at home, is one that often arises in discussions about grief, remembrance, and spiritual beliefs. 

While some cultures and traditions discourage storing cremated remains at home, others embrace the practice as a way to keep a departed loved one close. In New Zealand, beliefs about keeping ashes at home vary, influenced by spiritual perspectives, cultural traditions, and personal preferences.

Superstitions and Cultural Beliefs

In many cultures, superstitions around death and the afterlife shape views on keeping ashes in the home. Some believe that storing cremated remains indoors may invite negative energy or disrupt the deceased’s spiritual journey. In contrast, others view it as a deeply personal and respectful way to honour a loved one’s memory.

• Māori Traditions: In Te Ao Māori (the Māori worldview), the treatment of human remains, or tūpāpaku, is deeply significant. While cremation is becoming more accepted, traditional tikanga (customs) often prefer burial as a way to return the body to Papatūānuku (Mother Earth). Keeping ashes in the home may not align with customary beliefs for some whānau. 

• Chinese Feng Shui: In Feng Shui, keeping ashes inside the house is sometimes associated with an imbalance of energy. It is believed that ashes carry yin energy, which, if not balanced properly, could lead to disharmony in the household. To counteract this, families who choose to keep ashes indoors may incorporate elements like fresh plants, natural light, or specific placement strategies.

• Western Views: In Western societies, keeping ashes at home is a common practice. Many people find comfort in placing an urn in a special area, such as a memorial shelf or private altar. Some believe it provides emotional closeness to the deceased, rather than being associated with bad luck. In some Western narratives, the concept of faux pas spirits is humorously depicted, highlighting the emotional and spiritual connections people have with cremated remains.

Does Keeping Ashes at Home Bring Bad Luck?

There is no universal agreement that keeping ashes at home brings bad luck. Whether or not it does is largely dependent on individual beliefs. Some key considerations include:

• Emotional Impact: If keeping ashes at home provides comfort and a sense of connection, it is unlikely to bring any harm. For many, keeping ashes at home is perfectly acceptable and provides a sense of comfort and connection. However, if it causes distress or unease, it may be worth considering an alternative resting place.

• Spiritual Concerns: Those who follow cultural or religious traditions that discourage keeping ashes at home may experience discomfort due to conflicting beliefs. Some believe that spirits and keeping cremated remains at home can lead to lingering energy or guidance from the deceased.

• Family Dynamics: If family members have differing views on keeping ashes at home, it may be beneficial to discuss and agree on a solution that honours everyone’s perspectives.

Reasons for Keeping Cremated Ashes at Home

There are several reasons why people choose to keep cremated ashes at home. For many, keeping ashes at home offers a sense of comfort and security, knowing that their loved one is still with them in some form. This can be particularly soothing during times of grief. Others may choose to keep ashes at home as a way to honor and remember their loved one, creating a personal and sacred space for reflection. Additionally, keeping ashes at home can be a matter of personal preference, allowing individuals to care for their loved one’s remains in their own way, according to their unique belief systems and emotional needs.

Alternative Ways to Honour a Loved One

For those who feel uncertain about keeping ashes at home, there are many meaningful alternatives:

• Scattering Ashes in a Meaningful Location – Many families choose to scatter ashes in a place that held special significance to their loved one. In New Zealand, this could be a favourite beach, river, or hiking trail. Be sure to check local regulations before scattering ashes.

• Burial in a Cemetery or Urn Garden – Cemeteries often provide designated areas for urn burials or columbariums where ashes can be interred. Funeral homes often provide services for urn burials and can assist with finding a suitable resting place for ashes.

• Memorial Jewellery – Some families choose to keep a small portion of ashes in a cremation pendant or ring, allowing them to carry a tangible connection to their loved one. Some families may also choose to keep a small portion of ashes in a small box, preserving a tangible connection to their loved one.

• Tree Memorials or Bio Urns – Eco-friendly options such as biodegradable urns that grow into trees offer a way to return ashes to the earth in a life-affirming manner.

Making a Decision About Keeping Ashes

Deciding whether to keep ashes at home is a deeply personal choice that depends on individual circumstances and preferences. Some may find solace in having the cremated remains close by, while others might prefer to bury or scatter them in a meaningful location.

When making this decision, it’s important to consider your personal beliefs and feelings, as well as those of other family members. Additionally, be mindful of local laws and regulations regarding the storage and handling of cremated remains to ensure that your chosen method of remembrance is both respectful and compliant.